I’m ready. No. Wait. Okay NOW. I’m ready. Hang on.

Today I’ve decided to write humor into this story. What started out as a horror story, then a mystery/crime, then a cartoon, a graphic novel, a movie a script, a ghost story, is going to have all of those things and now I’m going to put my humor over it.

Can I? That’s my doubt. Just like the graphic novel direction I’ve been chasing; I can doodle, I can sketch, but the discipline to take a natural talent into a real thing has consumed me. I’ve bought over $100 in art/graphic novel books, drawing supplies, spent hours starting to draw and end up frustrated. If I’d just finish the shit, no, if I’d just finish the first damn PASS at the shit, I’d be somewhere. Instead, I keep stopping because the source material keeps changing.

So now I’m back to the story. I’ve got 3 days til Nanowrimo, where I’m going to spew out 50,000 words of the story. I’ve got such a solid hold on the idea, it’s like my No Right To Beg or Superhot Ladycop at this point – I’ve gone over it so many ways in my mind that I can’t pick any one particular direction and stick with it. So, fine, in 3 days, fuck it, I’m going to go.

And I’ll drop loads of humor on it. Tween YA humor. There’ll be some cussing, but it’ll be the story the way I want to tell it, I hope, a bizarre mix of humor, random A.D.D. sidelines and then unexpected darkness.

So that’s what I’m going to do. Take the 15 writing books I’ve started to read, mixed with the 15 drawing books I’ve started to read, along with the hours and hours and hours of movies and other books I’ve consumed in awe of how it’s done, and I will do this. And it will confuse people, and it will make them wonder what exactly am I trying to make out of this – just like my solo CD. Was it blues? Rock? Funk? Why was it all over the place? At the end of the day, I don’t give a shit. I made that CD because I wanted to hear it. And I like it. Whether I sold 50 copies or not, well yeah it kind of matters but fuck it. Anything I create won’t become hugely popular, not without 100% commitment from me to promote the living shit out of it once I’ve made it, and I’m not going to do that.

So I’m going to make this story for me. I hope some folks will like it, shit, I hope I’LL like it. But I’m going to finish the damn thing, and it’s going to have a beginning, and an ending, and a middle, and big explosions and robot vultures and guitar solos where conversations should be.

In short, it’s going to be something I made. And I think I’m ready to make it.